The Center for Family Resolution recently announced a new tool called the What’s True for You Decision Filter, a framework designed to help parents stop second-guessing themselves during divorce and custody disputes. As family law attorneys, we found the announcement worth discussing, because the problem it addresses is one we see in our office every week.
What Was Announced
Amy Armstrong, a parent coach and mediator who trains family court judges nationally, unveiled the filter during an appearance on the We Chat Divorce Podcast. Her practice, The Center for Family Resolution, works with parents whose custody cases have hardened into years of conflict, and the announcement was covered as a press release by The National Law Review.
Armstrong’s central claim is direct. If a parent is ruminating on a decision, that rumination is a sign the parent has stopped trusting their own judgment. Fear shrinks thinking, she argues, so the bigger the decision feels, the less access a person has to their own reasoning.
She built the framework after her own divorce, during which she allowed her husband to build her budget and her father to choose her attorney. Neither decision was truly hers. Neither one held.
How the Filter Works
According to the announcement, the filter involves several steps taken before any major decision is made:
- Audit your support circle. Keep the people who hold a positive vision of your future, and release those offering to help you attack an ex or win at any cost.
- Practice on low-stakes choices, like grocery lists or dinner plans, to rebuild decision-making confidence before facing custody questions.
- Track how often you say “I don’t know” in a day, and treat the tally as a measure of self-trust.
- Expect speed. A decision you trust yourself on lands quickly as yes, no, or later, and “later” counts as a real answer.
Armstrong also encourages parents to reframe negative statements. One mother in her coaching group stopped describing her ex as too volatile and began saying she was preserving her energy by stepping away from tense conversations. That reframing, Armstrong says, is where durable boundaries come from.
The announcement noted one client who came to the practice after spending $80,000 in litigation and resolved in 90 days what two years of court filings had not.
Our Perspective as Illinois Family Law Attorneys
There is real value here. Parents who arrive at mediation or settlement discussions knowing what they actually want reach better agreements, and they reach them faster. We have watched indecision prolong cases, inflate fees, and keep children in limbo far longer than the underlying disputes required.
But a coaching framework is not a substitute for legal counsel. Illinois courts allocate parenting time and parental responsibilities based on statutory best-interest factors, not on which parent feels most self-assured. Self-trust helps you decide what to pursue. An attorney helps you understand what a court can actually order.
The two work best together. A parent with clear priorities and sound legal advice is in a far stronger position than a parent with only one or the other.
Where Mediation Fits In
Armstrong’s practice offers mediation alongside coaching, and the announcement reflects a broader shift toward resolving custody disputes outside the courtroom. That shift is well underway in Illinois too.
For parents in Lake County weighing this path, a conversation with a Highland Park, IL mediation lawyer can clarify whether mediation suits your circumstances. It is not right for every case. Situations involving domestic violence or serious power imbalances often need different handling, and honest guidance on that question matters.
When mediation is appropriate, though, the preparation Armstrong describes pays off. Parents who have sorted out their genuine priorities negotiate from a steadier place.
At Hurst, Kay, Allen & Stambler, LLC, we work with parents facing allocation of parental responsibilities, parenting time disputes, and related maintenance issues throughout Lake County. If you are working through a custody matter and want guidance, contact our office to schedule a consultation and start building a strategy grounded in both self-trust and sound legal advice.
