Divorce Lawyer Lake Forest, IL
A divorce lawyer in Lake Forest, IL at Hurst, Robin, Kay & Allen, LLC always encourages divorcing spouses to make an effort towards an amicable divorce; however, that’s not always possible. In this case, we fight tooth and nail to ensure our client meets their objectives and goals. If an amicable divorce is possible, we will help you to understand how to maneuver through the process in the most beneficial, and practical, manner possible.
“I’m sure my spouse will not be reasonable during our divorce.” This is a comment we hear all of the time. In truth, you might be right; however, you won’t actually know if an amicable divorce is possible unless you begin to take the steps that allow it to be. As a divorce lawyer, we tell clients that if they go into a divorce proceeding with highly charged emotions and anger, you might end up making a wrong decision that could have disastrous consequences. That being said, an amicable divorce is founded on good decisions, a friendly attitude, and a lack of argument.
Support During Transition
Beginning the transition from married life to single life by filing for divorce can be understandably intimidating. There are so many “what ifs” involved in navigating the divorce process that the uncertainties of your situation may leave you feeling relatively paralyzed at times. Thankfully, working with an experienced Lake Forest, IL divorce lawyer can help you objectively weigh your legal options and to construct a plan of action that will suit your unique needs and goals.
Although no attorney can promise a specific outcome, our experienced legal team can help you to navigate your situation as successfully as is possible under the circumstances. The most important thing you need to know when beginning this transition is that the success and/or stumbles of your divorce process are significantly within your control.
Amicable Divorce Means No Litigation
In general, litigation is the result of two spouses who cannot agree on the final outcome of the divorce compromise. The litigation may involve some or all of the issues involved in the divorce. In a worst case scenario, litigation can go to trial. An amicable divorce does not involve litigation. Rather your IL divorce lawyer in Lake Forest and attorney of your spouse can help both of you to negotiate the outcome of the proceeding and finalize a settlement.
“But, We Cannot Agree On Everything…”
It is certainly possible that you and your spouse will be unable to reach an amicable agreement on everything; this does not mean you cannot have an amicable divorce. If either of you go on an emotional tilt, it will not accomplish anything, but rather only drag out the divorce and cause both of you to have to pay more money for the procedure as a whole. If you cannot agree on a certain matter, such as the custody of your children, don’t let this disagreement stop a previous agreement about your property and assets, from being settled. Do your best to get everything that can be resolved, resolved.
“I Don’t Want a Divorce…”
In the event of your spouse wanting a divorce and you not wanting a divorce, an amicable divorce is actually possible. If you have been served a petition for a divorce, please don’t go through this process alone. In addition to having a good divorce lawyer on your side, therapy may be very beneficial. Furthermore, talk to us about your spouse’s intentions and ask whether or not mediation may be a good choice.
“My spouse committed infidelity…”
Infidelity can cause a broad range of emotions including anger, grief, or even violence. It is not uncommon for one spouse to justify them alienating the children from adulterer, fabricating false allegations about domestic abuse, or other extreme acts of vengeance.
We insist that these actions are not worth it and can make a divorce much more difficult. In fact, it is possible to lose custody of your children if you partake in actions like these. As an experienced legal team, we have known of clients who had an amicable divorce even after infidelity was discovered. If you are in this situation, please call us to find out how we can help you.
Your Divorce Outcome Is Largely Up to You
Certainly, each jurisdiction restricts and regulates the divorce process in different ways, so certain elements of your divorce process are not within your control. For example, if your jurisdiction imposes a waiting period between when you file for divorce and your divorce can be finalized, there is really nothing you can do to speed the process beyond these boundaries.
However, much of your divorce outcome is “up to” you and your spouse. If you can agree on the terms of your property division (and child custody agreement, if applicable) settlement without judicial intervention, you can determine your destiny in a myriad of ways. Similarly, if you and your spouse have fundamental differences about your property and/or child custody arrangements, you can work with your Lake Forest divorce lawyer in order to construct the strongest case possible before you go to court. In this way, you will be placing yourself in the best possible position to succeed.
“How Do I Keep My Child Healthy During My Divorce?”
One of the most pressing concerns that many couples have after deciding to divorce involves how that divorce process will affect their children. This is understandable, as divorce signifies a major life transition that is inherently stressful. However, the divorce process does not have to be an unhealthy influence in the lives of children, even though it may be inevitably stressful.
When approached with focused intention, divorce can help empower parents to make their children even healthier and more grounded than they are now. And with the help of our team from Hurst, Robin, Kay & Allen, LLC, parents can ensure that their divorce process sets the stage for a healthy co-parenting relationship, which will positively impact kids well into the future.
Divorce: Keeping Kids Healthy and Happy
When a marriage is drawing to a close, tensions tend to color the family home. Even when parents are able to keep their arguing to an absolute minimum in front of their children, kids can sense when chronic marital stress is affecting their parents. As a result, divorce often presents the opportunity for a family to refocus on creating a healthy emotional space for everyone.
What does this mean practically? Interestingly, many families find it helpful to take their cues from the standard by which child custody determinations are made. When you and your attorney work together to create a proposed child custody arrangement, our team can help you to focus on framing that arrangement in the “best interests of the child.” Why? Each American family law judge is bound to evaluate child custody situations according to this standard.
It is understandably easy for parents to get bogged down in negative feelings and to subconsciously approach their co-parenting with a focus on these negative feelings. Instead, if you keep the “best interests” of your child at the forefront of your approach to divorce, you will almost certainly behave in healthier ways than you otherwise might. When you make your child’s needs “bigger” than your anger, sadness and frustration, you will be better empowered to pay attention to your child’s cues when something is wrong and/or when your child has needs that are not being met. This concept is somewhat abstract, as the best interests of every child are different.
However, your Illinois divorce lawyer can help to ensure that you have the knowledge and legal tools you need in order to keep your unique child as healthy as possible as you transition through your divorce process and begin a life in which your child’s parents will be living apart.
Child Custody Guidance Is Available
If you have questions about child custody matters generally and/or supporting your child as you divorce specifically, please do not hesitate to connect with a Lake Forest, IL divorce lawyer today. Attorneys who practice family law have enough practical experience with such matters that they can provide you with sound guidance. Please consider reaching out today for a risk-free consultation.
You may ask “Why is this important?” Receiving guidance on child custody is important for a plethora of reasons. Mostly, you’ll want to know your rights, what to expect from a judge, what your soon-to-be ex spouse may use against you if s/he wants primary or sole custody, and what your obligations will be towards your children and the other parent going forward. You don’t want to leave anything to chance because child custody arrangements can have lasting impacts on your relationship with your children and finances. Moreover, if you later seek child custody modification, it may be an uphill battle. Thus, getting everything squared away neatly and correctly during the first go around is preferable.
First, let’s cover what may affect a child custody arrangement.
- Whether you have a pending criminal case
- Whether you have a criminal record, including an arrest without a conviction
- Whether the state has found you guilty or liable of harming a child before
- Whether you have a stable place to live
- Whether you have or take medication for a mental or emotional disorder
- Whether you can show you’re actively involved in the children’s lives, such as buying them school materials and attending their extracurricular events
- Whether you or the other parent wants sole, primary, or joint custody
- Whether the children are old enough to say what they want and whom they want to live with
Bear in mind, the court awards child support to the primary custodial parent. Contrary to popular belief, more courts are granting fathers primary or sole custody depending on the family dynamic. Sometimes, it’s the mother who must pay child support to the father. Also bear in mind that child support is the right of the children. As a parent, you cannot contract this right from your children. Even if you and your soon-to-be ex spouse agree that neither of you will request child support so long as both of you remain involved in their lives, the custodial parent can always make this request down the line.
Divorce Guidance Is Available
In marriage and in divorce, there are no guarantees. But with strong representation by your side, you will be placed in an empowered, informed position. If you have questions about the divorce process generally or specific issues related to your unique situation, please do not hesitate to connect with our lawyers today. The legal team at Hurst, Robin, Kay & Allen, LLC has extensive experience with both amicable and contentious divorce cases, so please feel confident in scheduling a consultation regardless of your specific circumstances.
Speaking with a divorce lawyer does not obligate to you take any specific kind of legal action or embrace any specific kind of approach to your divorce. All consultations are designed to do is ensure that your questions about the process and/or representation are answered so that you can make an informed decision about your legal options.
We pride ourselves on providing strong yet compassionate guidance and legal support for our clients as they navigate the process of divorce. Please call today so that you can learn how an Illinois divorce lawyer from Lake Forest at Hurst, Robin, Kay & Allen, LLC can be of service to you.
You may ask “Why is this important?” Divorce guidance is important because the aftermath of a divorce can have a lasting impact on you and your children. Far too many times, this impact is negative. However, it doesn’t have to be negative, and that’s what we’re seeking to avoid. Suppose that most of the household income comes from your soon-to-be ex, and you’re uncertain that you can afford to live alone. Requesting spousal support (a.k.a alimony) may be in your best interest. A knowledgeable divorce lawyer from our firm knows how to get you a monthly maintenance amount that’s best for your living circumstances.
Suppose you and the other parent have concerns about child rearing and whether the other parent will respect your wishes when your children go between your two homes. We provide mediators to help you two resolve these issues so that nothing gets out of hand and both parties feel respected. This provides the healthiest environment for the children, too.
Divorce Lawyer Lake Forest, IL
Going through a divorce isn’t easy, and if you have children then contacting a divorce lawyer in Lake Forest, IL is often a necessity. Divorce can end in some unhappy and unhealthy unions but that isn’t always the case. If you are a parent going through a divorce then you are often thinking about more than just yourself in this process. Since divorce and separation can impact children at any age it is important to be as open and honest with your child as possible.
If you are still unsure about how to tackle his conversation with the child here are some tips to help you equip yourself with the right tools for coping through this process.
How Can You Help Your Child Cope?
Depending on your child’s age they can experience a range of different emotions and they may not understand what is causing them. Each situation is going to be unique to hear some tips to help you help your child during this process.
- Stay involved in your child’s life. When you are not invested or are not taking the time to be with your child, they can easily start to feel as if they’re unimportant. Make sure your child knows you love them even if you and your spouse are not on good terms. Ensure that you have time and your schedule to do fun activities or even just spending quality time one-on-one.
- Work hard to co-parent. When you and your spouse fight, especially about your children, they can easily start to blame themselves and think that they are the cause of this. This leads to feelings of guilt or depression. Do your best to keep your child out of the middle of your arguments and discuss things directly with the other parent instead of relaying the information to your child.
- Be supportive of the time your child needs with the other parent. You should encourage your child to enjoy their time with their other parents and new extended family if they have it.
- Limit negative things said about the other parent. If you are saying derogatory things about the other parent, your child can often feel that you’re forcing them to take your side. Even if you and your spouse no longer get along try to eliminate negative things you say around your child.
- Communicate honestly. Children deserve to know the truth about why you are getting the divorce but you need to explain it in age-appropriate terms. Plan ahead and carefully relive the information to your child. If possible it is better to tell your child together so everyone is on the same page. From there you should explain the upcoming changes like living arrangements, activities, school routines, and anything else that can come up.
- Help your child express their feelings. It is imperative that you listen to your child. Encourage them to be honest and acknowledge their feelings. You should let them know that they have no fault in the divorce and that it is normal for them to feel angry, resentful, depressed, or even anxious.
If you are going through a divorce then it is often best to talk to a divorce lawyer in Lake Forest, IL if you have any more questions.
Client Review“John Kay handled my divorce. He made a very difficult situation manageable. He listened to me, responded in a timely manner and was not afraid to challenge the opposing attorney. I would recommend him to anyone facing this difficult life choice.” Liz Nesbit