May 12, 2019
divorce lawyer Lake Forest, IL

Divorce Lawyer Lake Forest, IL

Top Rated Divorce Law Firm Lake Forest, ILAt Hurst, Robin, Kay & Allen, LLC, we know that divorce has a way of bringing out the worst in someone’s significant other, having a top-rated divorce law firm in Lake Forest, IL residents trust on your side can help. Divorce and child custody battles can be one of the most grueling and agonizing events to go through in a person’s lifetime. It only makes sense that not every parent is going to present their best selves along the way, no matter how hard they try. A divorce lawyer Lake Forest, IL families turn to will be indispensable during this time.

 

Your Children’s Needs Must Come First

Even in the most tension-filled divorce, the needs of your adopted children must come first. Ask yourself, if you were in the position of your adopted children, what would you want your parents to decide? Would you want to spend time with only one parent, or both? How would you feel to be kept away from the other parent? By putting yourself in their shoes it can help you make decisions that will benefit them in the long run, even if it isn’t the most comfortable for you in the short term.

A divorce lawyer in Lake Forest, IL at Hurst, Robin, Kay & Allen, LLC always encourages divorcing spouses to make an effort towards an amicable divorce; however, that’s not always possible. In this case, we fight tooth and nail to ensure our client meets their objectives and goals. If an amicable divorce is possible, we will help you to understand how to maneuver through the process in the most beneficial, and practical, manner possible. 

Divorce: Keeping Kids Healthy and Happy

When a marriage is drawing to a close, tensions tend to color the family home. Even when parents are able to keep their arguing to an absolute minimum in front of their children, kids can sense when chronic marital stress is affecting their parents. As a result, divorce often presents the opportunity for a family to refocus on creating a healthy emotional space for everyone.

What does this mean practically? Interestingly, many families find it helpful to take their cues from the standard by which child custody determinations are made. When you and your attorney work together to create a proposed child custody arrangement, our team can help you to focus on framing that arrangement in the “best interests of the child.” Why? Each American family law judge is bound to evaluate child custody situations according to this standard.

It is understandably easy for parents to get bogged down in negative feelings and to subconsciously approach their co-parenting with a focus on these negative feelings. Instead, if you keep the “best interests” of your child at the forefront of your approach to divorce, you will almost certainly behave in healthier ways than you otherwise might. When you make your child’s needs “bigger” than your anger, sadness and frustration, you will be better empowered to pay attention to your child’s cues when something is wrong and/or when your child has needs that are not being met. This concept is somewhat abstract, as the best interests of every child are different.

However, your Illinois divorce lawyer can help to ensure that you have the knowledge and legal tools you need in order to keep your unique child as healthy as possible as you transition through your divorce process and begin a life in which your child’s parents will be living apart.

How To Keep Discussions Amicable During Divorce Proceedings

“I’m sure my spouse will not be reasonable during our divorce.” This is a comment we hear all of the time. In truth, you might be right; however, you won’t actually know if an amicable divorce is possible unless you begin to take the steps that allow it to be. As a divorce lawyer, we tell clients that if they go into a divorce proceeding with highly charged emotions and anger, they might end up making a wrong decision that could have disastrous consequences. That being said, an amicable divorce is founded on good decisions, a friendly attitude, and a lack of argument.

Amicable Divorce Means No Litigation

In general, litigation is the result of two spouses who cannot agree on the final outcome of the divorce compromise. The litigation may involve some or all of the issues involved in the divorce. In a worst-case scenario, litigation can go to trial. An amicable divorce does not involve litigation. Rather, your IL divorce lawyer in Lake Forest and the attorney of your spouse can help both of you to negotiate the outcome of the proceeding and finalize a settlement. 

Only Agree to Terms You Can Uphold

As you negotiate over topics like child custody, child support, and visitation, it is crucial that you only agree to responsibilities that you can actually fulfill. In haste, you may try to schedule time with your adopted children as much as possible so it leaves less time for your spouse to see them, but in reality, you may still need to go to work and won’t be able to stay at home with them all the time. If you are having trouble figuring out what is within your means, you can contact an attorney whom parents rely on for insight. 

Parents who have adopted or biological children and are going through divorce must schedule a consultation with our top-rated divorce law firm, Lake Forest, IL residents rely on at Hurst, Robin, Kay & Allen, LLC

Don’t Point Out Your Spouse’s Flaws

During divorce, it is very tempting to bring to light all of the imperfect aspects of your spouse. In some instances, sharing such details can be useful, particularly if they have been violent in the past, are addicted to drugs or alcohol, or have another problem that makes them unfit to parent. This type of information you must share with your top-rated divorce law firm Lake Forest, IL that parents turn to, so your adopted children can be protected.

However, now is not the time to pick apart and point out all the little flaws of your ex. Doing so may only add further salt to the wounds already present, for both you, your spouse, and adopted children. When negotiating child custody, do your best to leave resentments at the door. 

Support During Transition

Beginning the transition from married life to single life by filing for divorce can be understandably intimidating. There are so many “what ifs” involved in navigating the divorce process that the uncertainties of your situation may leave you feeling relatively paralyzed at times. Thankfully, working with an experienced Lake Forest, IL divorce lawyer can help you objectively weigh your legal options and to construct a plan of action that will suit your unique needs and goals. Although no attorney can promise a specific outcome, our experienced legal team can help you to navigate your situation as successfully as is possible under the circumstances. The most important thing you need to know when beginning this transition is that the success and/or stumbles of your divorce process are significantly within your control.

Much of your divorce outcome is “up to” you and your spouse. If you can agree on the terms of your property division (and child custody agreement, if applicable) settlement without judicial intervention, you can determine your destiny in a myriad of ways. Similarly, if you and your spouse have fundamental differences about your property and/or child custody arrangements, you can work with your Lake Forest divorce lawyer in order to construct the strongest case possible before you go to court. In this way, you will be placing yourself in the best possible position to succeed.

Three Common Statements We Hear During Divorces

  • “But, We Cannot Agree On Everything…”: It is certainly possible that you and your spouse will be unable to reach an amicable agreement on everything; this does not mean you cannot have an amicable divorce. If either of you go on an emotional tilt, it will not accomplish anything, but rather only drag out the divorce and cause both of you to have to pay more money for the procedure as a whole. If you cannot agree on a certain matter, such as the custody of your children, don’t let this disagreement stop a previous agreement about your property and assets, from being settled. Do your best to get everything that can be resolved, resolved. 
  • “I Don’t Want a Divorce…”: In the event of your spouse wanting a divorce and you not wanting a divorce, an amicable divorce is actually possible. If you have been served a petition for a divorce, please don’t go through this process alone. In addition to having a good divorce lawyer on your side, therapy may be very beneficial. Furthermore, talk to us about your spouse’s intentions and ask whether or not mediation may be a good choice. 
  • “My spouse committed infidelity…”: Infidelity can cause a broad range of emotions including anger, grief, or even violence. It is not uncommon for one spouse to justify them alienating the children from adulterer, fabricating false allegations about domestic abuse, or other extreme acts of vengeance. We insist that these actions are not worth it and can make a divorce much more difficult. In fact, it is possible to lose custody of your children if you partake in actions like these. As an experienced legal team, we have known of clients who had an amicable divorce even after infidelity was discovered. If you are in this situation, please call us to find out how we can help you. 

Lake Forest Divorce Infographic

Lake Forest Divorce FAQs

If you have questions about child custody matters generally and/or supporting your child as you divorce specifically, please do not hesitate to connect with a Lake Forest, IL divorce lawyer today. Attorneys who practice family law have enough practical experience with such matters that they can provide you with sound guidance. Please consider reaching out today for a risk-free consultation.

How Can You Help Your Child Cope? 

Depending on your child’s age they can experience a range of different emotions and they may not understand what is causing them. Each situation is going to be unique to hear some tips to help you help your child during this process.

  • Stay involved in your child’s life. When you are not invested or are not taking the time to be with your child, they can easily start to feel as if they’re unimportant. Make sure your child knows you love them even if you and your spouse are not on good terms. Ensure that you have time and your schedule to do fun activities or even just spending quality time one-on-one.
  • Work hard to co-parent. When you and your spouse fight, especially about your children, they can easily start to blame themselves and think that they are the cause of this. This leads to feelings of guilt or depression. Do your best to keep your child out of the middle of your arguments and discuss things directly with the other parent instead of relaying the information to your child.
  • Be supportive of the time your child needs with the other parent. You should encourage your child to enjoy their time with their other parents and new extended family if they have it.
  • Limit negative things said about the other parent. If you are saying derogatory things about the other parent, your child can often feel that you’re forcing them to take your side. Even if you and your spouse no longer get along try to eliminate negative things you say around your child.
  • Communicate honestly. Children deserve to know the truth about why you are getting the divorce but you need to explain it in age-appropriate terms. Plan ahead and carefully relive the information to your child. If possible it is better to tell your child together so everyone is on the same page. From there you should explain the upcoming changes like living arrangements, activities, school routines, and anything else that can come up.
  • Help your child express their feelings. It is imperative that you listen to your child. Encourage them to be honest and acknowledge their feelings. You should let them know that they have no fault in the divorce and that it is normal for them to feel angry, resentful, depressed, or even anxious.

If you are going through a divorce then it is often best to talk to a divorce lawyer in Lake Forest, IL if you have any more questions. 

No one has filed for divorce yet. Is there a benefit to being the one who files? 

It does not really matter who files for the divorce. Typically, the spouse who files (the petitioner) is the one who pays for court fees related to filing, and once they have filed, the other spouse will be served with the divorce paperwork. When you search for a Lake Forest, Illinois divorce lawyer near me, you can find someone who is willing to walk you through every step of the process. 

What kind of issues will usually come up in a divorce?

Especially if you have never been through a divorce before, you may be unaware of all of the issues that may come up. Most people are familiar with asset and property division. They may have bank accounts, cars, a house, and other property that they will need to examine and determine how to fairly split up. However, there are other issues that may also be covered in your divorce. Spousal support (also known as alimony) may come up if one spouse needs the financial support of the other. Additionally, if you and your spouse have had children together, you will need to discuss if one or both of you will get custody of the children and if child support should be an option. If you are unable to come to a conclusion through mediation, a court can make this decision for you. 

I don’t make much. Is it possible to get my spouse to pay my attorneys’ fees?

If your spouse earns significantly more than you do, it is possible that the court can make an order that states they must pay your attorney’s fees. That said, you and your attorney must work to prove that you are unable to pay for your attorney’s fees.

How Do I Keep My Child Healthy During My Divorce?

One of the most pressing concerns that many couples have after deciding to divorce involves how that divorce process will affect their children. This is understandable, as divorce signifies a major life transition that is inherently stressful. However, the divorce process does not have to be an unhealthy influence in the lives of children, even though it may be inevitably stressful.

When approached with focused intention, divorce can help empower parents to make their children even healthier and more grounded than they are now. And with the help of our team from Hurst, Robin, Kay & Allen, LLC, parents can ensure that their divorce process sets the stage for a healthy co-parenting relationship, which will positively impact kids well into the future.

divorce lawyer lake forest family law

Lake Forest Divorce Glossary

When you’re meeting with a Lake Forest, IL divorce lawyer, it’s helpful to become familiar with some of the key legal terms you may encounter. At Hurst, Robin, Kay & Allen, LLC, we often work with clients facing emotionally charged and complicated legal matters such as child custody, support, and spousal maintenance. This glossary provides straightforward definitions of important terms we frequently discuss with our clients.

Each term below is a key part of the divorce and family law process, especially relevant to families in Lake Forest, IL. While this list is not exhaustive, it serves as a solid foundation for understanding your legal situation.

Parenting Time

Parenting time refers to the schedule outlining when each parent spends time with their children following a separation or divorce. This term has largely replaced the older term “visitation.” The parenting time schedule is either agreed upon by both parents or ordered by the court and is designed to serve the best interests of the child. Courts in Illinois take various factors into account when deciding on parenting time, including the child’s relationship with each parent, their adjustment to home and school, and the wishes of the child if they are old enough to express them.

In many cases, parenting time is divided relatively evenly, especially if both parents are actively involved in the child’s life. If a parent has concerns about safety, reliability, or other serious issues, the court may reduce or restrict the other parent’s time.

Allocation Of Parental Responsibilities

This term refers to how major decision-making responsibilities are divided between the parents after divorce. These responsibilities often include decisions about the child’s education, healthcare, religious upbringing, and extracurricular activities. Illinois law requires parents to create a “Parenting Plan” that specifies how these responsibilities are shared.

The court can assign decision-making power jointly or solely, depending on the case. For example, both parents may have to agree on medical care decisions, while only one parent might handle education. A divorce lawyer helps clients create a plan that reflects what’s practical for both parties and benefits the child.

Parenting Plan

A parenting plan is a legally binding document that includes all terms related to parenting time and the allocation of parental responsibilities. This plan must be filed with the court within a specific timeframe after the divorce is initiated. It includes information like each parent’s scheduled time with the child, how decisions will be made, how future disputes will be resolved, and how the child will be transported between households.

If both parties agree to the terms, the court usually approves the plan. If not, the judge may set a hearing to decide unresolved issues. Parenting plans help establish structure and prevent future misunderstandings, especially for families with adopted or young children who thrive on routine.

Spousal Maintenance

Commonly referred to as alimony, spousal maintenance is a financial support payment made from one spouse to the other during or after divorce. The goal is to help the lower-earning spouse maintain a similar standard of living to what was experienced during the marriage. Illinois courts consider many factors when determining maintenance, including the length of the marriage, the income and needs of both parties, and each person’s ability to become self-supporting.

Spousal maintenance can be temporary, reviewable, or fixed-term, and agreements may be modified under certain conditions. We always advise clients not to agree to any financial terms they are unsure they can meet over the long term.

divorce lawyer Lake Forest IL

Marital Settlement Agreement

A marital settlement agreement (MSA) is the written contract that finalizes the terms of a divorce. It includes issues such as property division, spousal maintenance (if any), parenting time, and child support. Once signed and approved by the court, the MSA becomes legally binding. If either party violates the agreement, the other can seek court enforcement.

The strength of an MSA lies in its clarity. We assist clients in drafting thorough and realistic agreements that prevent future disputes. If both parties can reach consensus on key matters, the MSA avoids the need for trial and gives both parents more control over the outcome.

Amicable Divorce

An amicable divorce occurs when both spouses agree to end their marriage without court litigation. This doesn’t mean there are no disagreements — it means the couple can work through their differences through negotiation or mediation instead of asking a judge to decide. Often, couples will still have disagreements over parenting or finances but remain committed to resolving them peacefully.

Amicable divorces usually take less time, cost less money, and produce longer-lasting outcomes. We encourage clients to explore this route when possible, even in challenging emotional situations like infidelity or parenting disagreements. It can be a more productive path for those with adopted or biological children, where preserving a co-parenting relationship is vital.

Child’s Best Interests Standard

In all custody and parenting decisions, Illinois courts prioritize what is in the “best interests of the child.” This includes evaluating each parent’s involvement, the child’s needs, and each parent’s willingness to support the other’s relationship with the child. Factors also include the child’s adjustment to home, school, and community, and any history of abuse or neglect.

This standard can be broad, but it’s a guiding principle that frames all custody-related decisions. When we work with families — particularly those with adopted children — we focus on tailoring custody plans that match the unique needs of each child. The standard isn’t just legal; it’s practical. It’s about making decisions that help children feel safe, supported, and connected.

If you’re looking for guidance from a Lake Forest, IL divorce lawyer, we invite you to reach out. At Hurst, Robin, Kay & Allen, LLC, we help families take clear, constructive steps through the divorce process while prioritizing the long-term well-being of their children.

Marital Settlement Agreement

A marital settlement agreement (MSA) is a document that outlines the terms of the divorce, including division of property, spousal maintenance, child custody, and child support. Once signed by both parties and approved by the court, the MSA becomes part of the final divorce judgment.

This agreement is usually created after both parties, through negotiation or mediation, reach consensus on all matters. It’s important not to rush into signing without a clear understanding of each term. Having legal guidance during the drafting process helps avoid future conflicts and protects long-term interests.

Hurst, Robin, Kay & Allen, LLC, Lake Forest Divorce Lawyer

222 E Wisconsin Ave #4b, Lake Forest, IL 60045

 

Contact Our Lake Forest Divorce Lawyer Today 

Divorce can be one of the most challenging transitions in life, both emotionally and legally. Hurst, Robin, Kay & Allen, LLC provides compassionate yet strategic representation to individuals and families in Lake Forest navigating divorce and related family law matters. Contact us today to schedule a confidential consultation and learn how we can help you protect your interests and move forward with clarity and confidence.

Client Review

“John Kay handled my divorce. He made a very difficult situation manageable. He listened to me, responded in a timely manner and was not afraid to challenge the opposing attorney. I would recommend him to anyone facing this difficult life choice.” Liz Nesbit Client Review